We’ve all heard our fair share of bar jokes. We’re paraphrasing a bit here but this is the basic joke as it apparently appeared in a 1952 New York Times paper in April. A Nun Walks Into a Bar – Bar Joke. Pin. Tweet. A man walks Into a bar with a full-grown ostrich behind him. Ryder Carsen’s sister is missing, and he doesn’t have time for distractions. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. The nun chuckled. He gets very drunk and asks the bartender where the restroom is. “”You should be ashamed of yourself young man! The goldfish says, "Water." A Neutron Walks Into A Bar. A blind man walks into a bar. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If you’ve ever called or e-mailed us in the office you’ve probably talked with Karen Young. !””, “”I’ll get the bartender to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.””, The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes to the bartender, “”Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks””, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “”and could you put the vodka in a teacup?””, “”Oh no! We are a family run company that has a truly fantastic life because we never really feel like we’re working :). A man walks into a bar on a Friday evening. He finds a large golden toilet. But when a pretty nun walks into his bar, he can’t ignore his attraction to her, even though she’s not the “sister” he’s looking for. Press J to jump to the feed. ", "No thanks," says the nun "I still don't understand what that supposed to mean", "You see, every time someone lifts the statue's fig leaf, all the lights in the bar go out.". The nun lifted the leaf off of the man's privates. The bartender replies “For you, no charge”. The bartender explains it's the third door to the right, but the man goes into the third door to the left. Two guys walk into a bar. A snake walks into a bar. and asks how much a drink. A bottle of venom walks into a bar. The next night, the pub is packed. ChemistryJokes.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to … A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Minister walk into a bar. Drinking is a Sin! The man nods and walks into the bar, calling out to the bartender. 1. The barman says “sorry mate, we don’t serve snakebite in here”. The bar is very noisy and crowded with music playing and every time the light shuts off for a few seconds, the patrons applaud. The man takes a big poop in it and leaves. It’s not that Nun again is it?”” Alcohol is the blood of the devil!””. Jokes - A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of jokesus Published on Oct 5, 2015 Joke : A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. "I'm sorry sir", the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?” A sandwich walks into a bar. Email: info@extremebartending.com When the patrons finally see the nun, the entire bar falls silent. Posted on April 11, 2015 by David R. Woolley November 17, 2015. I'll prove it to you." The bartender says, "Why the big clause?" "I don't know," says the nun. This is another "walks into a bar" joke. "Gin," he replies. In this joke, the critical point is the fact that the bartender asks the penguin what his brother looks like. A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a A Nun Walks Into a Bar and starts lecturing him on the evils of drinking. A man wearing a tie fastener walks into a bar. So he does t… Share. “”You should be ashamed of yourself young man! "In that case, I'll look the other way" says the nun and goes into the restroom. The barman says “we don’t serve food”. Prepare to groan. This is a singles bar." "Hey!" Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Baby, I Know Chemistry. Two guys walk into a bar. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?" You Want To Hear A Joke About Nitric Oxide? And a table. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He tells the bartender, "I’d like three shots of your finest Irish whiskey, please." Where did he come from?" The Rabbi and Minister do not think this is possible, so without further wait the Priest goes up to the bartender, has a few drinks and begins to exit the bar, but the bartender calls out "Sir, you forgot to pay for your drinks" The Priest replies, "No you're mistaken, I already paid, good night" and walks out. I am actually not quite sure which reason this joke was supposed to be funny for, as I can see two possible reasons why this is funny. The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?””, “”Don’t be ridiculous–of course I have never taken alcohol myself””, “”Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life””, “”How could I, a Nun, sit inside this public house drinking? Oxygen Wanted To Be Knighted. A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. A nun walks into a bar. We’ve all heard our fair share of bar jokes. Drinking is a Sin! As he’s enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. Some of them warrant a chuckle, some a groan, but we’ve come across a few that actually make us laugh. A man walks into a bar. A bar joke is a very common and basic type of joke cycle.The basic syntax is as follows: "A man walks into a bar and ". The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Getting there, he decided to smoke a cigarette, but the bartender won't let him. A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar. Below you’ll find 20 great takes on the classic “A guy walks into a bar…” joke. The exact origin of the standard walks into a bar joke is said to have started with a joke involving a dry martini that appeared in the New York Times. Here you can watch out our all videos on popular channels,our interviews. A man walks into a bar, climbs up on a stool, opens a bag and proceeds to stuff his ears with whipped cream and to spread strawberries in his hair. A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?" -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes -- Walks Into A Bar Jokes --A soccer ball walks into a bar. 2. 0 Comments. Some of them warrant a chuckle, some a groan, but we’ve come across a few that actually make us laugh. Phone : +1 604-879-1036. So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey. A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. The bartender says, “Hey pirate! Santa walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a glass of Less, please?" The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!” The third one ducks. When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it. Alcohol is the blood of the devil!””. A Joke for the Hard of Hearing A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. "Oh, alright," she says. All Rights Reserved. 1. © 1994 Extremebartending.com. One night, he walked into a bar with his golden retriever. A nun walks into a bar and asks the barman to use the restroom. Maybe. The initial perception of the joke is that a man is walking into a bar to have a drink, but this only lasts a few seconds as the punchline is quickly uttered. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a beer,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich. Seconds later, all the lights in the bar shut off for a few seconds and then turn back on. The bar is very noisy and crowded with music playing and every time the light shuts off for a few seconds, the patrons applaud. The bartender kicks him out. Address: near 3745 Commercial St, Vancouver, BC V5N 4G1, Canada 10 Funniest “Man Walked Into a Bar… The bartender says, ‘What is this, a joke?’” Would you like a drink? The bartender lines the three shots up for him, the gent pays for his drinks, enjoys the whiskeys, and leaves without another word. He’s relieved when she walks out of his life for what he believes is forever. … Our goal is to create a “WOW FACTOR” at your bar or party and we seem to make friends with everyone we deal with. With a confused expression on her face, the nun walks over to the barman and asks, "Sir, I don't understand, are these people clapping just because I used your restroom? A crab walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint please, but if I'm not satisfied with it, I'd like to be compensated with ten bottles of champagne." A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player’s and whispers ” Wow, that’s a really smart dog!” (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a A Nun Walks Into a Bar and starts lecturing him on the evils of drinking. "Bartender! She’s our General Manager and my Mom. Select rating Give it 1/10 Give it 2/10 Give it 3/10 Give it 4/10 Give it 5/10 Give it 6/10 Give it 7/10 Give it 8/10 Give it 9/10 Give it 10/10 ”. Daily Joke: A Guy Walks into a Bar with His Golden Retriever . “”But have you ever had a drink yourself? He asks the bartender for a beer, and one for the road. A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. "It's that bloody nun outside again, isn't it?" In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’ The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. ... Embed This Joke Random Chemistry Jokes. The third one ducks. The duck says to … 2. Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. Two guys walk into a bar. "What do ladies usually drink?" The Priest says "I bet I can go up to the bartender, have a few beers, and get out without paying." A duck walks into a bar... And orders a hundred bottles of scotch. In fact, it looks like his penis is stuck through the center of it. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. Then the Ministerin disbelief says he'll give it a go as well. April 27, 2020 | by Rebelander Basilan. The waitress asks for their orders. Some History Behind Walks into a Bar Jokes. ", "No, but they now know that you're just like everyone else at this bar. A blind man walks into a bar. As far as I know, most of the following atrocious walks-into-a-bar jokes originated with me, and the rest with my beloved wife, Cyndie. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab." It's about 10 feet long. 1. A Bad Joke Walks Into a Bar. The funniest sub on reddit. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The third one ducks. The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. … The bartender says, “How the fuck did you do that?” 32. The bartender watches this performance with amazement before asking, “What would you like to drink?” “You’ll have to speak up,” replies the man… A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. A fly walks into as bar and says to a lady "nice stool you're sitting on." ... A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. Below you’ll find 20 great takes on the classic “A guy walks into a bar…” joke. And a table. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Next Joke . Joke of the day - Helen Keller walks into a bar, is the best Joke for Friday, 05 June 2015 from site Laugh Factory Network - Helen Keller walks into a bar,. When the patrons finally see the nun, the entire bar falls silent. A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. “A guy walks into a bar...” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” Religious versions are: “A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. Here's a joke about a Monocle that walked into a bar to have himself a few rounds of drinks. – Dr. Sheldon Cooper The Big Bang Theory. So you can credit us or blame us, as you wish. I'll have a beer, and a double gin in a cup!" A nun walks into a bar and asks the barman to use the restroom. A book walks into a bar. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." June 21, 2015 by admin A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. However, when the revelers saw the nun… Here's a hilarious story of a man who was so eager to get a drink in a bar he enlisted his dog's help. "Sure, you may use our facility" says the barman, "but I must warn you that there is a statue of a naked man whose private parts are covered with a fig leaf". "But - but can you put it in a cup, so nobody notices." When the nun comes out, there is a big round of applause. Puts it on my tab. big poop in it and leaves to use the.! Of his life for What he believes is forever V5N 4G1, Canada:! Conversation and every once in a cup! clause? amazed, entire. 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